2022 is Asking You for Something

It’s been within you all of your life, but you haven’t necessarily seen it or given it the space it deserves.

Now don’t think I’m nagging on you – really I am NOT – not at all – but wherever you are at in this moment, these past couple of weeks of this brand spanking new and shiny year until now – 2022 is asking you to…

HELP yourself.

Doesn’t that just sound bitchy?

It isn’t though – let me explain.

We all have moments and even micro-moments in the day when things don’t seem to go our way, or we feel like things are happening TO us.  The feelings can be frustrating, overwhelming, or just simply irritating as fuck.

There are so many times we feel helpless or just don’t know where to start, and it’s really not as complicated as we think.

As women, we easily step into one of two roles, but there are two incredibly common ones:   The Martyr thinks she needs to help everyone around her, leaving the scraps for herself (if there are any).  The Warrior does the head down, ass up armour on and nothing can fucking touch me route (and often is afraid to even be in touch with herself as a result).

From the outside they kind of look the same.  Both are taking care of business and getting shit done, and everyone around them knows that they will be there to help.  

The question is: At what cost?

The last two years, if not the whole of your life, has brought about a lot of big fucking change.  Some of it has been scary, some of it has been bizarre, some laughable… but here is what I know – we can’t predict the future.  We still are in uncertainty.

That can make us feel even MORE helpless, while we are scrambling to help everyone else thrive or simply survive even more than ever.

You may feel the cost more than anyone knows.

HELP is within you.

HELP is my acronym for the way to show up in the world authentically:

The H in HELP is about showing up with integrity, fairness, kindness, gratitude, and authenticity. It is about being able to Honour where you are in your journey of life.

Honour the space you are in – this is especially powerful when we look back on the year that was.  Honour yourself for making it through, for shining in the moments you did, surviving, and for gawdsake for getting through it with grace.  You’re here, right?  

This is about giving space and much needed grace to yourself because you know your path like no one else, and you are in your life every day.  The past is part of your story, the future is what you love and learn yourself forward into.  

You have the ability to honour yourself every damn day!

How?

End each day with a simple list of three things you are grateful for.  This honours where you are in this very moment, and you don’t have to throw a stone far to hear that gratitude is a damn powerful tool.  

Do it, give it a try… what’s the BEST thing that could happen?

Empathy is the E in HELP. Empathy isn’t just feeling sorry for someone or yourself, it is the experience of genuinely caring for another and self and accepting where one is at as being their experience, including your own.

It is very easy to give empathy to another person, hell – you can feel heartache for a family you see on the news. Empathy for yourself takes time and practice.  

This is about being able to accept that it isn’t always easy, and as such, recognizing that you, too, are not perfect. Sometimes it just really IS fucking hard.  

Often to move to empathy, we have to get away from the negative self-talk and into fact finding.  If for example, you find yourself beating yourself up because you for got the “thing” you were supposed to do or have, and you find yourself shitting all over yourself in a cycle of nasty self talk, it’s a sign that you really just need to be. And that means arriving at empathy.

How?

If you’re in a shitty thought cycle, the first step is to notice it. What is the thought?  How does it make you feel?

The next step is to forgive yourself.  That’s right.  In your head, or out loud, say: I forgive myself for that thought.

And then to move to a thought that feels even 1% better – usually it’s finding the TRUTH of the situation – facts, not bullshit you’re telling yourself.

Then tap into the shift of feelings that comes from that empathy and truth.

Feel that goodness flow!

The L in HELP is the over-complicated word love. Love is showing up with kindness, tenderness, warmth, concern, and humanity. Love is easy when in to comes to how you interact with those that you have the privilege to share space and time with, but self- love…?  

Let me ask you a really easy question:

Do you love yourself?

I personally believe it is time for a self-love revolution if we are going to thrive as a planet!

It’s no secret that this is my mission – to mirror your love and light within and shine that shit like glitter in a kindergarten room!

But how?

Friend, it takes practice.  It takes showing up for yourself every damn day, but it doesn’t have to be complicated.

Got a piece of paper? Great! Write down 3 things you like about yourself.

Awesome!

Now write down three thing you did right today.

Amazing!

Now do that every day.  For real.  It isn’t complicated or hard, but it does something HUGE.  It reinforces that you love yourself enough to recognize yourself and to see the good in you.  

We can’t rely on external validation all of the time. If we count on it, then when we don’t have it, we start to dive into those old shitty thoughts like an Olympian diver going for gold. And (double edged sword, Warrior woman) when we do get it, we barely accept it and feel like we have to go harder, give more and drive ourselves further into the ground.

You have to give love to yourself.  

Every. Damn. Day.

Start now.  You don’t need that fancy journal, you just need a damn piece of paper or post it note – or even your phone! Start.

Presence is the P in HELP. Presence is being in the moment with another or self, rather than caught in thoughts beyond the moment. When you are present for another you share space with their thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, and are open and curious to them. When you are present for yourself, you respect the moment you are in with awareness of your own experience.

Presence is the beautiful act of noticinnaluig. It is the magical moment of being.  Even for a second.  But ideally, for a prolonged period of time.

We can get so caught up in all of our external inputs, that we don’t even stop to notice or be where we are.  Have you been there?  

We all have.

And how do you cultivate presence with and for yourself?

Well, taking time and space to be just with you is the most important start.  Journaling is a way to be with yourself and your thoughts, and can have profound impact on how you feel overall, but not everyone is a journaller, I get it. Meditation is another really beautiful and simple way to cultivate presence.  Meditations can range from 3 to 60 minutes or more, and there are tons of great guided meditations out in the google world.

But what if you’re not into meditation or journaling?

That’s totally OK!  Are you breathing?

Sweet – you’re reading this – we are good!

Take a deep 5-second breath and notice the air fill your body.  Hold it for 5 seconds. Now, let your body gently release it over 5 seconds.  Repeat that 4 times.  

This is a simple breathing exercise that creates presence in the moment.  You suddenly have to focus on your breath, and it brings you back to YOU.  

It works like a hot-damn in meetings, crazy family dinners, and traffic.  TMI, but my favourite place to do it is on the toilet (letting it all out – body, mind, and spirit!). LOL!

HELP is within you.  It is with you always and in all ways.

2022 is asking your for something.  Your soul is asking you for something.  

It is simply HELP.

And it’s been with you all along.

If there is one thing you give yourself this year, let to be honour, empathy, love and presence.  HELP yourself into a beautiful new year my friend!

May 2022 be a beautiful gift of loving and learning forward with joy!

All Love and Wishes for Goodness!

Tanya xo